|
|
Post by Creepy Pippy on Mar 30, 2006 23:04:57 GMT -5
Since I seem to be the only female here tangling with you guys I want to ask your opinion on a male-female subject.
I am starting to get the opinion that men say they want an independent woman, but really they deep down prefer the damsel in distress. I have noticed in past relationships that what normally attracts a guy to me, ends up being the demise of the relationship. And more times than not, it is me leaving them because I do not like that they are trying to change my ways. I asked some other women this and they all seem to be in the same types of situations as I get into.
So my other question is for you guys that are married, do you see your wife as independent or do you see yourself as the caretaker?
And for you single guys, when you get into relationships do you go for the independent girl or the dependent one? If so....why?
|
|
|
|
Post by smile4chaos on Mar 30, 2006 23:33:41 GMT -5
More independant, i dont care how much shit this is going to get but: I like a person who can be an aggressor, someone who knows what they want. A person who can make thier own decisions. A relationship is a partnership. That is why my ex fiance and I split, a lot of miscommunication, heart break, and bad things all around. She wanted to lead around by the hand, when i was making all the money paying the mortgage, and bills everything was ok, but when it came time for her to pay for shit, and know that i was out of a regular job, and her decisions were going to be the ones that were now leading the way, things started to get bad.
i never knew degeneration of a relationship could happen so bad to me.
i dont have to much time here pips, but independance is a good thing. you have to have your own mind, and a bit of a life away from your spouse, you cannot share EVERYTHING, no matter what anyone says. or thats just my opinion. Truth and honesty, as much as they are similar, are the most important things in a relationship, so if you have your own mind, and are honest, i just might like you. oh and a physical attraction of some kind is well you know a necessity.(had to add that)
|
|
|
|
Post by LordWitchFog on Mar 31, 2006 1:10:22 GMT -5
Come to think of it, every girl I've been interested in has been 'independant' until closer inspection. It's always been a ruse, or a self defense method. When it turns out they're full of it, I'm gone. It's amazing how many punk or goth chicks turn out to be June Cleaver as soon as the dye grows out.
I have no desire to make a girl quit her job and wash my boots. What the hell does that do to a woman's brain? Would ANY girl want to date a guy who's diaper she had to change, or who's video game habit she had to support?
'Provider' guys are as sick as 'can't wait to be mommies'. How weak do you have to be to NEED to be someone else's lifeline?
The strongest girl i ever met was an 'escort' who hated men and sex of any type, but made like 400g a year on it. That may be a little too strong...
|
|
gots0
Singing Slasher
Rebel Pimp
I am the way
Posts: 1,162
|
Post by gots0 on Mar 31, 2006 13:04:26 GMT -5
I like women who you dont have to be with 24/7, and they can still maintain a life.
|
|
|
|
Post by underw0rld on Mar 31, 2006 15:55:33 GMT -5
for something serious i want a woman who is independent, has her own stuff:vehicle,house,job. if she makes more than me thats a big bonus. i also like if she is a freek in bed so there is no getting bored. i like it if she is a little nerdy, collects stuff and what not. likes to go camping and isnt afraid to go target shooting. she has to be sarcastic and have an opinion and good self esteem. no drugs. ive dated girls who were very "needy" or dependent and had low self esteem and lacked opinions, biggest turn off there can be. i want a girl who can have a comeback and say it with a smile and stump me. one who will tell me what she wants to eat when i ask her where she wants to go to dinner. a girl who doesnt beat around the bush and just comes home, kicks off her shoes , puts her feet in my lap and asks me nicely to rub them instead of whinning that her feet hurt like im supposed to pick up on her hinting for a massage. i guess i need to keep dreaming they dont make em like that
|
|
|
|
Post by Creepy Pippy on Mar 31, 2006 17:10:40 GMT -5
Too bad you live on the other side of the world because I was made like that.
I guess this all got started when life events changed my situation. And when i mentioned it to some of my female friends, found they go through similar things. I am talking about the independent woman. So I dcided to put up a women only discussion to hear what other women thought and they could be free to talk about it and not worry of their men getting insecure. Then that got me to thinking I wanted to know men's point of view on this. What better place to go then the board with all men.
My problem is these guys seem to say they like all of the above and I am very blunt in what I like and want and somehow it changes. They think they can domesticate me or get too clingly, or the sex turns from hours of animalistic fucking to short bursts of mushy romantic love making bullshit. The list goes on and on.
But It had made me wonder if the women that are like me are fighting a lost cause to find an equal. There are women in this discusion that say the men they get with say they want a strong woman, and then they end up cheating on them with a less attractive more insecure needy and dependent women...or damsels in distress. Granted there is the role reversal as well so this is not a full blown men bashing discussion, and we all know it goes both ways and all that shit.
It's just got me curious is all. *shrugs*
|
|
|
|
Post by jainitai on Mar 31, 2006 17:45:11 GMT -5
My wife is definitely independent and strong-willed. She has a lot more masculine energy than I do. I have more feminine energy. So we balance each other really well. I like being the woman and being taken care of. ;D At times though she wants that role. I think it's a mix for everyone: sometimes you want to be independent and free and other times you want to be dependent and taken care of. It's all temporary, emotional, psychological stuff. The secret is finding someone who's energy you mesh with. There are always going to be "bumps" and conflicts, because no two beings can mesh all of the time, but it's about finding someone where those conflicts are minimal (i.e. - the good out weighs the bad). That's my two cents of rambling. Why do you bring this up, Pips? Your man trying to domesticate you or something?  |
|
|
|
Post by Creepy Pippy on Mar 31, 2006 17:53:32 GMT -5
They always do Jain... they always do. Actually I don't have a man anymore. My words were misunderstood and he thought I broke up with him. Which I was deciding I needed to anyways, so it kinda just rushed the inevidable. Basically I have too much going on in my life right now to fret over a relationship. I just want a fuck buddy every now and again. Be a slut for a night and then go about my business. Is that so wrong?  |
|
|
|
Post by jainitai on Mar 31, 2006 17:57:37 GMT -5
They always do Jain... they always do. Actually I don't have a man anymore. My words were misunderstood and he thought I broke up with him. Which I was deciding I needed to anyways, so it kinda just rushed the inevidable. Basically I have too much going on in my life right now to fret over a relationship. I just want a fuck buddy every now and again. Be a slut for a night and then go about my business. Is that so wrong? I just heard Underworld cream in his shorts with excitement over this news... Oh...I just heard LordWitchFog spooj too! Better watch out for those boys! |
|
|
|
Post by Creepy Pippy on Mar 31, 2006 18:02:40 GMT -5
Where's the loincloth?! Let's go play barbarians! |
|
|
|
Post by jainitai on Mar 31, 2006 18:20:39 GMT -5
Where's the loincloth?! Let's go play barbarians! You can't stop thinking about Gots0 in a loin cloth, can you? Neither can I!! Err...I mean, thinking about how you think about it...yeah... |
|
|
|
Post by Creepy Pippy on Mar 31, 2006 18:24:02 GMT -5
I never said any names.  So you fantasize about men in loinclothes too?  |
|
|
|
Post by jainitai on Apr 1, 2006 6:47:12 GMT -5
So you fantasize about men in loinclothes too? Uhhhh....maybe. |
|
|
|
Post by LordWitchFog on Apr 1, 2006 12:29:00 GMT -5
They always do Jain... they always do. Actually I don't have a man anymore. My words were misunderstood and he thought I broke up with him. Which I was deciding I needed to anyways, so it kinda just rushed the inevidable. Basically I have too much going on in my life right now to fret over a relationship. I just want a fuck buddy every now and again. Be a slut for a night and then go about my business. Is that so wrong? Nope, nothing wrong with that. Relationships ARE dependence. The strategy is to GET YOUR F-BUDDY LAID. That way they aren't up your ass 24/7 or in love with you. And hey, more buddies for you! So, exercise then loin cloth shopping... Do I need a wig and a battle-axe? I have a two handed broadsword |
|
|
|
Post by smile4chaos on Apr 1, 2006 14:52:35 GMT -5
finding someone you can completey be your self around is a struggle, and compromises just have to be made all the time. it all depends on what you can put up with.
|
|
