As for your latest entry Mr. Crager:
You wrote:
"I've begun to write this journal because. HELL...because I don't know what else to do!"
There are a few problems here. The first being that the first sentence should not end after the word "because". "Because" is a conditional thing that warrants a cause for the already detailed effect(re: beginning to write a journal).
A better way to write this(and this is by no means the best way. I am not a professional writer obviously) would be:
"I've begun to write this journal because...HELL, because I don't know what else to do!?"
The ellipses after the word "because" here are properly used to indicate a pause between that word and the conclusion the narrator is coming to. As if he started writing and once he got to the word "because" he realized he had not thought on the matter of WHY he was now keeping a journal and thus quickly comes up with "HELL, because I don't know what else to do!?".
Notice the use of both an exclamation point(!) AND a question mark together(!?) which indicates simultaneous exasperation or urgency and confusion combined.
Of course it could be debated whether anyone would write like this in a journal(I see no problem with it) using ellipses to indicate where they are temporarily at a loss for words and such but I personally would think that anyone even pondering such a thing is going way to far to find fault with the story.
You also wrote:
"2 days ago war hit us. Blam, landed right in our laps."
There are a few problems here as well. The first is really not necessarily an error though. If you were submitting a paper to a creative writing teacher and you began a sentence with a number, rather than writing the word "Two", you might get marked down but in this case where the journal is being written by someone who is probably NOT a professional writer(the character I mean...sounds like he is a soldier) so it is not inconceivable that he would simply write '2' instead, even to start a sentence.
The next problem is indeed an error though. "BLAM" should be punctuated by an exclamation point, being a sentence in it's own right. Of course that leaves us with the then disjointed "landed right in our laps" bit.
A better way to re-write the whole thing would be:
"Two days ago it hit us. BLAM! War landed right in our laps..."
If it were me personally I would not even use the "BLAM!" adn would write something more along the lines of:
"Two days ago war came to us. War came and brought death with it.
Death. I have been stuck down here in these catacombs for...who knows how long now. The air is putrid."
The use of the word "death" above provides for a nice segue to talking about the catacombs and "The air is putrid" is simpler, more direct and easier to understand than "The air is worse in the colatoio." which seems a bit more believable from a non-writer/soldier keeping a journal.
Will get back to this later. I have to run right now.