Post by jainitai on Jan 30, 2009 11:12:04 GMT -5
So I was able to pick up a copy of Mood Maid yesterday at my LCS. I really went into this book with no preconceived ideas or biases.
*WARNING: THERE WILL BE SPOILERS! SO IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE BOOK YET, DON'T READ ANY FURTHER! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED, SO DON'T CRY LIKE A BABY THAT I RUINED THE ENDING FOR EVERYONE!*
One mistake I noticed right off the bat is on page 9. You need to either fire the letterer or get an editor. The 3rd and 4th panel have the dialog backwards. In other words, the "maid" is saying what "Charka(sp?)" should be saying and vice versa. Anyway, not a huge deal, just an obvious mistake.
Story wise there were some weak moments of dialog, particularly between Ciena and Charka at the beginning. I don't know how to explain it. Seemed a little formulaic or trite, kind of like it was a dialog template and you just filled it in with lines A, B and C. But after the initial scenes at the beginning the dialog seemed to have a better flow as the story progressed.
I thought that was an interesting twist to reverse the perception that the gorillas and monkeys were bad guys and that Charka was a good guy. It was also a nice element that he was kidnapping Ciena to offer as sacrifice to bring back his father, Orel. Obviously the "young maiden as a sacrifice" plot isn't something entirely innovative, but I thought it worked well with Frazetta's original painting, i.e. - in trying to explain why this half-naked (well, completely naked in Frazetta's version) woman is riding on the back of this odd creature.
Overall I thought it was an entertaining story for a one-shot. Nice, quick, simple and to the point. You don't really have time to get too elaborate in a 24 page (or however many pages it was) one-shot, so I think the story that you were able to craft worked well. Ciena was young, inexperienced and naive, Charka took advantage of that, her guardians saved her.
It might have been fun though to have changed the ending up a little bit. The ending as it is now seems a little cliche and too happy. It would have been more interesting to leave it open. For example, Ciena could have been cut during the fight between Charka and the guardian and a drop of her blood spills on the altar. No one notices this, though. Then after Charka is killed and everyone is leaving the temple you see the god Orel begin to emerge from the altar or ground and that's how it ends. Of course you may have wanted to make it a closed ending and having the suspense/open ending can also be cliche, but I just think it would have been more exciting.
Art-wise it was hit and miss. Some panels were el stinko, where it looked like Tim didn't even bother putting down pencil first and just doodled it in straight with ink, but then there were some panels/pages that were magnificent. I really liked the two page spread where Charka first takes Ciena into the temple of Orel. It was very well crafted. I also liked his dealing with the anatomy of Charka's horse body. Horse anatomy can be really challenging, but Tim pulled it off. Overall it was a solid effort, but as sometimes with Tim's deadline-type of work you can see moments where he lapses or where he's rushing it.
I don't even want to bring up the coloring issue, because I think we belabored the point when Dark Kingdom came out. To me it seems too flat and dull, but I understand deadlines and it's not that it's terrible...it's just kind of "blah". It's not the kind of coloring effort that makes my socks fly off.
In summary I would say if you're a fan of Tim's work (which obviously you are, because you're here reading this) then it's worth picking up, not only to support Tim and his projects, but because it will give you a little something to tide you over until we get Faust 14 and 15. And I think you'll be able to appreciate Jay's first crack at writing a book, which wasn't as bad as some people were anticipating on other message boards. It's a solid story for a one-shot with some nice twists and consistent artwork.
On a scale of 1 to 10 I'd give it a 7.75 on the Jai-o-meter. Not bad, but also not blow my socks off good.
*WARNING: THERE WILL BE SPOILERS! SO IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE BOOK YET, DON'T READ ANY FURTHER! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED, SO DON'T CRY LIKE A BABY THAT I RUINED THE ENDING FOR EVERYONE!*
One mistake I noticed right off the bat is on page 9. You need to either fire the letterer or get an editor. The 3rd and 4th panel have the dialog backwards. In other words, the "maid" is saying what "Charka(sp?)" should be saying and vice versa. Anyway, not a huge deal, just an obvious mistake.
Story wise there were some weak moments of dialog, particularly between Ciena and Charka at the beginning. I don't know how to explain it. Seemed a little formulaic or trite, kind of like it was a dialog template and you just filled it in with lines A, B and C. But after the initial scenes at the beginning the dialog seemed to have a better flow as the story progressed.
I thought that was an interesting twist to reverse the perception that the gorillas and monkeys were bad guys and that Charka was a good guy. It was also a nice element that he was kidnapping Ciena to offer as sacrifice to bring back his father, Orel. Obviously the "young maiden as a sacrifice" plot isn't something entirely innovative, but I thought it worked well with Frazetta's original painting, i.e. - in trying to explain why this half-naked (well, completely naked in Frazetta's version) woman is riding on the back of this odd creature.
Overall I thought it was an entertaining story for a one-shot. Nice, quick, simple and to the point. You don't really have time to get too elaborate in a 24 page (or however many pages it was) one-shot, so I think the story that you were able to craft worked well. Ciena was young, inexperienced and naive, Charka took advantage of that, her guardians saved her.
It might have been fun though to have changed the ending up a little bit. The ending as it is now seems a little cliche and too happy. It would have been more interesting to leave it open. For example, Ciena could have been cut during the fight between Charka and the guardian and a drop of her blood spills on the altar. No one notices this, though. Then after Charka is killed and everyone is leaving the temple you see the god Orel begin to emerge from the altar or ground and that's how it ends. Of course you may have wanted to make it a closed ending and having the suspense/open ending can also be cliche, but I just think it would have been more exciting.
Art-wise it was hit and miss. Some panels were el stinko, where it looked like Tim didn't even bother putting down pencil first and just doodled it in straight with ink, but then there were some panels/pages that were magnificent. I really liked the two page spread where Charka first takes Ciena into the temple of Orel. It was very well crafted. I also liked his dealing with the anatomy of Charka's horse body. Horse anatomy can be really challenging, but Tim pulled it off. Overall it was a solid effort, but as sometimes with Tim's deadline-type of work you can see moments where he lapses or where he's rushing it.
I don't even want to bring up the coloring issue, because I think we belabored the point when Dark Kingdom came out. To me it seems too flat and dull, but I understand deadlines and it's not that it's terrible...it's just kind of "blah". It's not the kind of coloring effort that makes my socks fly off.
In summary I would say if you're a fan of Tim's work (which obviously you are, because you're here reading this) then it's worth picking up, not only to support Tim and his projects, but because it will give you a little something to tide you over until we get Faust 14 and 15. And I think you'll be able to appreciate Jay's first crack at writing a book, which wasn't as bad as some people were anticipating on other message boards. It's a solid story for a one-shot with some nice twists and consistent artwork.
On a scale of 1 to 10 I'd give it a 7.75 on the Jai-o-meter. Not bad, but also not blow my socks off good.
